Seeing the Dating Matrix - Social Calibration with Tony

In order for someone to open up to us whether it is through giving feedback or opening up from stranger to friend that person has to be receptive or open to receiving the other person. The person has to feel relaxed and open within. It is my job to calibrate different situations in encountering people with different emotions on a day to day or hourly basis. 

A person who is sad needs  a different approach than a person who is attending a concert of their favorite band who is open up to receiving fun and joy because it is expected in those venues. 

Going out teaches us social calibration as well as empathy and sympathy. We are able to put our self in other people's shoes as they say. It allows us to use our imagination to reflect upon our night on what we could have done better. We can even role-play scenarios in our heads using our imagination to imagine best case and worst case scenarios that will produce the outcome we want. We get to be in-tuned with our body, emotions, and minds as well as the people we meet outside all simultaneously because everything happens in real-time. 

There are two ways which I discussed how we can open up others and make them feel relaxed. I believe that it is true that this is the first stage for anyone to get to since it allows anything else to occur smoothly afterwords. Like it's total common sense that someone will more than likely be "sold" on an idea or "sold"on a person if this person is opened up and not closed. 

Change my tone of voice to a relax state. Soft gaze. It's like I put myself in this state first. It's effective to be in this state with this calm demeanor so that we are in control of any situational and emotional upheaval. When others are reacting and going bonkers they always look to the most calm person to follow. Of course there's also a fine line of relaxation. You see just me saying the keyword relaxation puts you at ease. Positive/uplifting words have white magic power whereas negative words have the opposite effect. We learn that whatever we do to others or say to others that it returns to us. When we compliment someone on something we enjoy it gives other people joy but it also shows that we are authentic to ourselves by valuing what we love. It's autosuggestion that happens towards others and ourselves. 

Only once after we get people to be open and relax will they be "receptive" to whatever comes next whether you want to move interaction to a logical debate, or fun vibe you're able to change a person's state and they will thank you for it especially when they are feeling the negative emotions of boredom, sadness, anger, guilt, or any other negative emotions.

We become socially intelligent if we can speak to people as in seeking first to understand than to be understood. When someone feels that they are heard than they open up. 

And so when meeting new people and whatever we say doesn't hit or have any positive effect on them than we should not take it personal. People are going through their own struggles and we are not able to see, know, or feel it unless they feel safe, comfortable, or trust us to be able to open up and then this is were connection happens. Connection happens when our inner child meets someone else's inner child. It is two or more authentic souls understanding one another on a deeper level and only this level can be reached through mutual trust and comfort. 

Another thing to realize about human emotion is that we cannot feel two emotions at the same time. You cannot feel sad/depressed while smiling and vice-versa. Knowing this we work on developing and using the tools at our disposal to maximize our own state managing it while also being aware other's state (whomever we come in contact with).

We use different real world case studies and bounce back and forth these examples so we can break them down and give each other perspective while at the same time we are gaining insights to what we have studied. In addition we are practicing self-expression and communication skills as we talk to one another. We are close as in friends but what that really means is that we are open towards each other to receive ideas from one another. There are depths to friendships and so there are also depths and level in relationships. 

So much of understanding comes from empathy, open sharing, and authentic communication with each other as human beings. We shouldn't let looks, background, creed, religion, or the likes deter us from connecting to each other as human beings who go through the same space and time. 

Social calibration also means we can see through the matrix. What I mean by this is that we take notes of cultural habits and norms and manipulate them to our advantage. Some examples are listed below. 

- Group of girls going out are bored because they feel stuck with the herd mentality and no guys approached them (most are too afraid to approach groups). 

vs. 

Oh they look bored and so I would have an advantage if I open them up. It would give them value and they would view me as ballsy, points for me! What if one of the girl in the group is DTF? Plus wouldn't I have more options if I approach groups of hot girls? If one doesn't like me maybe another will. We cannot assume that they are mean or whatever. Our minds tend to play tricks on us and we lose if we believe in its BS.

- "Nice to meet you"

vs.

Girl is trying to get rid of you or she isn't interested. So how can we pattern interrupt this? 

- When you close the distance with a girl like she puts her face close to mine or I put mine close to hers and she's still standing there than it's a good sign.

- When you feel the music you enjoy in your body and proceed to dance to it instead of being stifle. Once you release the energy through expression through dancing than you are leading yourself. Others notice this and are than allowed to release their inhibitions too. Always be leading. Make the first move and move forward. Two steps forward and one step back. 

Courage with Tony - State Transference and Delivery of Emotional Content Gifts

As an artist I now understand why you put so much emphasis on working through your emotions. I see emotions as a way you can capsize on if you are able to manage it and own it like a pet. 

Since you feel embarrassed or fearful of performing your work here are a couple of frames that could help you. 

Why Your Creative Work is a Gift

You have pride in your work and you own your work. You put sweat, time, and tears into your creative process/work. Now it is time to deliver it. This is where showmanship comes in. So first let's have the frame that you are offering value. You are delivering a gift to your "audience." 

What does showmanship consist of? What do you imagine when you hear the word musician? I imagine a guitar player (paint the picture) who is wearing a cowboyish hat and sitting on a stool singing to a crowd. Before he sings he puts himself in state or the emotion that evoke the work he created in the first place (state transference). 

How to Deliver Emotional Content

If you are able to evoke the emotions within you because music is a time capsule that takes people back to memory lane then you can evoke and transfer the emotional content (your creative work) onto your audience. If your song is about jealousy than you get into that state by remembering the story within your work that allowed you created that work. Then you deliver that emotional content outward with full authenticity and self-expression. Your work that you created is part of who you are - you are sharing your gift. Who can do this? There are no one in the world like you so share your gift to the world. 

State Transference in Dating

As for PUA you can use this tool too infield. You approach a girl because you have something to offer (yourself, your stories). You can control the emotional content of what you say through state transference. Share some stories that you've shared with me or your friends before and how did you sound when you told it? What is the emotion that these stories evoke? Fear as in the Snake story? Awe as in the Rhianna story? Telling these stories will not only allow you to strategically evoke the same emotions in your girl while you're offering value (because let's face it most people are bored and most people don't approach) but also you are allowing the world to be receptive to your authentic self. You are creating your personal space to be expressive and authentic. No one has the exact same story that evoke those exact emotions like you so tell it like how you tell it best and tell it as you!

Tools and Tips for Positive Emotional State Change

Here are some tools to get yourself in-state. Music - has the power to transfer positive emotions too. Dancing also allows you to be expressive. Notice how people always get memorize out in the club when they stop whatever they are doing and dance? So find your favorite songs and create a playlist that pumps your state up. Dance to the song and be expressive. You control your own environment through your own selection of songs. 

One other tip is to ask yourself what frame of mindset are you coming from? Are you "playing" the nice guy, alpha guy, seductive guy, relaxed guy, or funny guy? Whatever your context or character you are playing will flow through you in all aspect such as your choice of words, BL, and all. Your frame of mind or mindset has to be dominant. It has to be a dominant thought through repetition which allows you to behave 24/7 the way you wish. In dating you want to relax the girl, make her feel comfortable, have fun and not take yourself so seriously, and also be seductive. Now you can hit all those emotions by coming up with threads that hit those emotions within you and then gift them to the girl. Your right frame of mind will dictate your thoughts, words, and action to success. Be in congruent with your thoughts, words, and actions. 

Notice what happens when you speak about sex? You get turned on and so shall she through the state of transference. Why do people always feel inspired after a motivational audio or seminar? Because the person delivering the message often times are sharing a story of how they had overcome their struggles to become who they are on stage today. Instinctively we respond well to stories and emotions. We are creatures of habits yet we are also emotional creatures. Most of our decisions can be said to be made if it makes us feel happy or sad. How does this purchase of online sales course upgrade make me feel? 

Why it's Important to Master and Manage our own State

It is awesome to be able to know and apply these technology in our life to manage our emotions so that we can get things done. We do not want to live in fear nor let our emotions control us instead we want to manage our emotions with the proper mindsets, repetition, stories we tell ourselves, and tools that will elevate our positive state. 

Vice-versa take the times when we feel unmotivated, bored, or empty... How can we influence or persuade ANYONE when we are feeling nothing? We actually attract sympathy and empathy from some people but in the end of the day it is up to use to take responsibility for our own life. Only we can pull ourselves from the "pit of darkness." I've been in a Residence feeling locked up before while seeing a psychologist when they thought I was suicidal. The end conclusion was there was no one to save me. My siblings and parents called me. I made them feel sad - I was sad. There was no God nor Buddha nor Allah to save me. I had to save myself and literally proclaim that I was better and that I had rather be outside than be locked up in this Residence speaking to a psychologist or counselor that aren't helping me. I feel that I know myself enough to know what I'm going through. I wasn't able to adapt to my environment and was very hard on myself. I couldn't relate to anyone and felt alone inside my dark yellow hotel room. I was stuck and couldn't finish an assignment I had no idea how to do. I felt bad for letting down my teammates... Maybe I wasn't good at learning to ask for help or to engage with others because I just didn't connect with them? Anyways the point is only those who have depression could understand others who have depression. 

Return and Release our Inner Child

Remember what it was like to be a child? Children have fun and play - that's all they have to do. They dream and imagine. There's so many type of play. Children are curious. We can return and release our natural curiosity and creativity by returning to our inner child. We not only learn better but absorb information better by having fun while playing and learning simultaneously. We can still spread joy as an adult by having fun, exercising our creative juices, and experimenting. Now would you ever self-flagellate yourself if you had the frame of a curious kid just taking action in the world for fun and learning sakes? No! You said Mastery is being a child but having discipline to complete the work right?

This Idea Reduced any Approach Anxiety Drastically 

Thank you for opening my eyes when you say that girls always put on a face or mask. Traditionally if we try to put ourselves into their shoes it makes sense. We have to understand female psychology that girls are placed into a box or frame to be good and innocent, to please others. So if this is their nature it makes sense that they are not really living authentically but often time wearing a mask or putting on a front. At the end of the day every single girl wants to be treated like Daddy's little girl. All that front of being a strong independent feminist female is all just a front. They cannot resist an Alpha man nor the attraction switches that makes them wet (Review these attraction switches). 

Deep down once we open them up and break down their "wall" or mask, their legs also open up. We open them up by making them feel relaxed, comfortable, fun, connected, seductive, and so on. On approach remember that we are offering value / a gift. We start conversations to give value and also to screen her. You have empowered me to really not make approaching a fearful event or in other words have reduced my approach anxiety to think that all women if not most will have a front. It is our duty to make them feel the above emotions and to hit them with attraction switches until they feel those emotions so that they will open up to us. We can also hit them at an undertone level with physical contact, emotions, verbals, and logistics. We are leading because we know the game insides and out and can predict 10 steps ahead while also adapting and flowing to our environment. 

NLP for fear vs COURAGE

We own our internal environment. We do not let fear overcome us or paralyze us. Use NLP and imagine what fear looks like. For me it looks like Hunter the evolve form of Ghastly. I imagine punching it with my boxing gloves and then pinching it to a tiny bit and then squeezing it and then throwing it onto the ground and then stomping on it. There's no fear. Whereas I imagine Courage as a lion like a golden lion from the lion king standing prideful and up straight looking confident. I imagine it roar loud and in charge of a lot of other lions standing beneath it. Courage is a Lion King and I reach out to absorb that spirit of the Lion King into my heart. I have a Lionheart.

Success is a Mindset (Tai Zen)

Been watching Tai Zen on Youtub, an investor/entrepreneur speak and share about his road to success. Here are some notes.

- Our behavior is based on our mindset. 

- Every time we act based on our negative self-talk is a groove dug into our brain.

- We must ask for what we want. 

- We must feel deserving for what we want.

Negative self-talk are like the lower self / excuses for why we can't do something. 

Contemplated Ending My Life

 Contemplated ending my life for some reason. Is it because...

-rejection from a girl

-disrespect from the military

-failure to succeed in online courses

-fake life

-social media

-laziness

-numbed feeling

-shallow breathing

-negative media such as Asian Hate crimes

-the texts with Alex?

I walked around behind the hotel at night like usual then stopped at the pond and an ideation popped up that I should jump in the water and drown myself.

I go back after like an hour plus of walking alone to my thoughts and sometimes singing Vietnamese and entered my room.

I grabbed a knife to cut an orange and a thought of I should stab myself and then jump into the lake came up in my mind. 

I thought to myself I will say goodbye to everyone online as a common courtesy before I do away with myself. 

I thought I should write, "Fuck you so and so and fuck you racists" and all before I end it. 

I thought it would be so selfish of me to kill myself on my sisters bday. Wouldn't it mess up her bday every year?

Then I sit there blank and barely breathing. Staring into nothingness and feeling nothingness.

I catch to my senses and think - why can't I control my mind? Do I really hate myself that much? Why do I hate myself so much? Is it because I am not deserving of love? Am I comparing myself with others? Is my addiction to Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube causing me to compare myself towards others and that is why I hate myself so much?

Is it because I want to improve and know what I need to do but don't do it? Is it because I cannot control what others think of me (those who disrespect me)?

Solutions

It probably is all of this. So where do I go from here? 

1. I will stop using social media. 
2. I will focus on my digital marketing assignments which I have putting off
3. I will get clear on what I want like run for exercise or hit the gym for 30 mins
4. I will take action despite how I feel because I feel like crap when I don't take action (I thought I would feel naturally happy if I just be but no). I feel pressure to "keep up with the Jones" or achieve success. America is fucked up in this sense. They are workaholics and everything is expensive. 
5. I need to travel outside of America for a long period to see the world and learn about the world.

Differences Between Men and Women in The Dating Game

Women

Appearance - Let's start with women first and what society values in a women. Society values outer looks in a women first and foremost. She can get more job opportunities and dating prospects. 

With social media these days women can display themselves to attract potential suitors. We all see women on instagram gaining likes and followers with ease no matter if she's in cosplay or working out. Face, boot, skin, boobs all are thirst traps women use to lure in followers, likes, and attention. Her social value is her outward appearance.

Independence (not as a big factor)- Now  a days we have women empowering women and more movies of strong, independent female characters.

Men

Looks - Now with men we are also favored by our looks (race can determine our looks too). But what if we are not attractive or the favorable race? We can invest time to body building / or athletics: martial arts or sports. We can go shopping and buy good looking new clothes.

BL - But there's more to it than looks men are respected or not through the way they carry themselves. BL includes confidence, vibe, posture, and tone. Looks and BL can go hand in hand if men put some time into the gym to bodybuild. Now this can be layer upon layer because other factors play into BL like who men surround themselves with. If he is surrounded by confident guys than he will also be confident. 

Tribe - Who your friends are or who you surround yourself with. Birds of the feather flock together. Do your friends inspire, motivate, or challenge you? Do they have similar ambitions or goals? Are they independent thinkers? Do they want to talk about business or gossip?

Status - Do other men respect me? Do other women desire me? Am I in a position of power? How much influence do I have on people? What is my occupation? Am I happy with my work?

Money and Skills - Affects the way I look and my BL because money can provide these things. What skills can men bring to the market place to earn more?

Self-Help Inbound Work - Who Do I Want to Become?

Question: Who do I want to become?

Answer: 

A Digital Marketer / Free lancer, help businesses, online marketer, self-directed learner

A Good Friend / Share wisdom with friends, help friends out, show friends and shared experiences, challenge friends

A Good Son / Give back to family, be happy, be loving, be caring, be supportive, win, lead my own life, lead them

A Man / Purposeful, brave, physically strong, mentally strong, clever, creative, a FORCE to be reckoned with, lead myself, lead others, confident

Question: What is my Purpose?

Answer: To accomplish my goals and strive towards becoming a better person. To adopt a growth mindset. To adapt. To find myself. To win however small or big and to learn from my mistakes or the mistakes made by others.

Question: What do I want to do? 

Answer: Travel EU and Asia / Date beautiful women

Question: What am I proud of?

Answer: My genes, my fluency in being Bilingual 

Focused Selective Energy 

Focus on myself and my goals and how I can help others with my skills. 

The rest is easy - just do it, take massive action towards my goals to BECOME a Digital Marketer, A Good Friend, A Good Son.

Like a Diablo character I work on myself. I gain experience and level up.

Strategically my own self-help pro-tip is that I want to focus my energy on what I want to become. Focus on the traits that I find admirable or desirable in others and work towards creating that for myself. So hang around people who are confident. Hang around other fighters. Hang around successful people doing big things and see how I can help them in anyway. 

Honestly ask myself what am I doing and is it getting me towards what I want? Be like BL and implement what is useful and discard what is useless or doesn't work. 

Male Dating Strategies (Continued) - Inbound Marketing for Dating

Preface

I'm listening to my intuition... 

Milad said I should go on a dating app. I've had no luck on there before even after paying for the services. Yesterday's post was about investing in building oneself / business rather than focus on "chasing girls." I personally feel that I'm not ready to put myself out there because I do not have a stable career. I don't like what I'm currently doing.

I think the date with Vi taught me that I have a negative vibe / energy. I'm not loving, I have a serious face, I'm AFC because I am not winning in any area.

If someone where to ask me what have I accomplished recently I wouldn't have anything to "brag" about. This also means that I have no pride in anything in my life. I am not proud of anything. Nobody wants to hang around a moping loser or negative person. 

I have to turn the table and strive towards success. To strive for the results that I want without mercy.

"No Mercy"

Some Notes I Gathered from Ruby Le's Interviewed with Kevin from Amped Asia. 

1. Show not tell - A picture should convey a feeling. A picture should be a convo starter.
2. Have a variety of pictures.
3. Inbound marketing vs. Outbound - Having solid pictures and a dating profile can be a good inbound tool
4. Be selective in which apps you choose to use. 
1. Coffee Meets Beagle - More Asians
2. Hinge - Interactive
3. Bumble - Women message first
4. Tinder
5. Matchmaker - Expensive for the upper class
5. Tips on approaching - be honest and direct works otherwise indirect also works. Women will always be wondering what your intentions are and why you approached her so practice talking to women and flow the convo.

Conclusion / Realization

- Be careful taking advice from friends. Challenge their ideas.

- Boost a friend with recommendations when you see fit for him. 

- Picture Project: I can help a friend out by taking photos for him when we hang out so he can use it on dating profiles.

- Focus on myself first before focusing on others. 

So in order to really put myself out there I want to be proud of me for me. I want to love myself first before I can love another person. If it so happens I do go on dates I wouldn't mind it of course either because I learn a lot from gaining experience. 

Dating Strategies - The Female Thirst Trap

Recently I've noticed a common pattern. Why does it all happen in such synchrony? I mean it's only been two days and I've seen 3 Youtube videos of the same thing happening about this female thirst trap.

When things are in sync like this I feel like the Universe is forewarning me or teaching me a great lesson so listen up.

Female Thirst Trap - When a female strategically lures in a lot of beta males like a "Siren" from Greek mythology breaking the hearts and lives of many men who lust for her attention but in the end she already knows what she wants (the Alpha or the one with wealth and status) and only ends up fucking the Alpha of her choice.

Why is the Female Thirst Trap Dangerous to Men? 

Imagine being controlled by women because of her beauty. You go out of your way romanticizing the perfect date or a beautiful future together too soon. You go out your way thinking she's your everything and telling your friends what a good catch you've caught. But how many other guys is she also seeing or hitting her up on her social media? How many of them are also under her spell when she posts her latest instagram post of her in a new sexy-cute outfit?

You aren't the only one dood. Wake up. What if after the first date she doesn't text you or worst, ignores your text? Wouldn't that make everything you imagined with her a waste of energy and time that could have been spent on something more productive like investing in yourself or your studies? Did you not only waste your precious time and energy but also your resources taking her out to expensive dates? Shame on you ;)

Here's The Reoccurring Theme That I Noticed

1. 1stMan - One of his video he was going over a BBC documentary and an interview on London Real with playboy Dan Bilzerian. In summary, "Don't be a bird. Don't Chase women." The BBC documentary depicted different male birds trying to dance and gain attraction of the female bird (doing all the heavy lifting there) while the female bird just stays cool. She then tests the male bird by giving him a berry and the male bird takes the bait. She then leaves the male bird because he failed her test and acted on a whim for her. Dan and 1stMan suggests focus on building your empire or business. Build a setup and the top tier women will come or you'll be in a better position to pick and choose.

2. StepisCold - Talks about some celebrity (Azael) trying to get attention of another popular male icon. And alpha move would be to ignore her. She already has a ton of men chasing for her attention but she wants this particular popular icon so she tries to test him and get his attention with an instagram post. StephisCold also mentioned how women often tell lies or white lies to cover up their promiscuous behavior (in fear of being judged).

3. Noo Phouc Tinh - I'm Still Loving You MV - This Vietnamese artist often sings about heartbreak or the girl leaving him (victim lol). But towards the end of the MV you see a group of well-dressed men walking like brainless zombies towards the girl who rejects them each individually. One falling wound to the ground after another. All whom which are falling for her thirst trap. 

Do You See the Running Theme here? 

Suckers getting leeched by the Female Thirst Trap. For every wank a man commits because of a darn instagram post or porn video, you're already in danger of losing your attention to these Female Thirst Traps indirectly!

Men are spending their energy chasing women who have an abundance of options and faltering. Women are socially savvy. They are keen on status. They have options and choices. 

Don't be a Sucker. Don't chase women. Don't fall for these Female Thirst Traps. 

Focus on Yourself and your Goals.

Rejection by a Girl Stings - Vi

So after last Sunday's date with Vi which seems to be a flop. I don't know why she's down to hang out yet is so distance from me. 

I texted her yesterday and still haven't heard anything from her today. 

After analyzing the date with Tony it kind of seemed like I was talking bad about her and it was like intuitively I know it wasn't going to work out with her and that it's okay the fact that she doesn't text me after the date. 

Her interest level was either not there anymore after the date because I sensed it not being there during the date. I cannot even contemplate calling it a date because of her social distancing lol. 

Anyways having known all this and accepting that she isn't interested I am still hurt... I feel rejected and it's no fun. 

I know I don't have a lot of experience with girls even though I try and go out of my way to study them, approach them, and plan dates when I happen to get one in a blue moon. Here is me wasting my efforts, energy, and time while the girl is probably blase since she has so many options from online to offline to family and friends introduction.

Why do I think she isn't interested in me? 

• She's already seized me up by asking random but strategic questions on my whereabouts
• She has more social intelligence (extroversion)
• She's independent and works out where as I am a mama's boy
• I have terrible acne / acne scars
• My face is a resting bitch face / AFC who hasn't had any luck in a long long time
• Inherently I'm not stable - no full-time career. Not a man with a mission.
• I feel inferior at my "workplace"
• I don't get respect from anywhere

So what's a guy like me to do? I'm just being honest. Girls don't want someone on the bottom rung they want someone better than them. Someone who is cocky, confident, and is popular.

I got to get this off my chest and move on. 

If I could wish for one skill it would be the ability and energy to focus on being a master learner and accomplish my goal of becoming a digital marketer. Once done I will have the resources and respect to command what I wish.

Childhood Trauma - The Word "No"

 I hate the word "No." How many times did I have to face this word? 

No you cannot buy that toy as my siblings and I begged and begged on the streets where a seller was selling toys on a cart in VN.

No we cannot afford martial arts school. 

No we cannot afford extracurricular for you to play an instrument. It costs money to buy or rent an instrument. 

No you have to do this homework or take this class to graduate.

Naturally when we were kids we would ask for things or want things but when our parents cannot afford it or tells us no we feel rejected or not loved. This goes deep. We don't know what love is really. 

In Asian culture we believe love is meant given attention or whatever it is to one and another. So when we hear the word, "No" it is as if the ones we believe who raised and loved us, our parents, are rejecting us. 

So we get bitter and bitter and unhappy when we don't get what we want. We think to ourselves am I worthy of love? 

No you cannot stay out with friends. 

No you cannot do a sleep over with your friends (We think to ourselves - Does my parent even trust me? Apparently not...)

Do you think any door of opportunities will open if the word "No" is tossed around so frivolously? Saying "No" is like being closed-minded. It's like closing the door or not even trying to open the door that could unlock to new relationships, opportunities, or interests.

Life is more than just staying at home watching tv, surfing the net, or playing video games. These fake realities that we create and bubble that we create for ourselves is limiting our vast potential as a human being. 

On top of that being nice or being reserved/timid does not help. Being afraid of the world does not help. 

We must be lions at heart and face the world in which the reality it presents itself head on. Would a Lion be a King if he isn't able to face his fears and look at his enemies right in the eyes? Definitely no and no one would want to follow a coward. 

Cowardice comes in many forms. The word itself implies taking advantage of the weak, being weak, or being afraid to take things head on. You can safely associate the word cowardice with fear. Don't be a "cow" be a humble, bold and determined Lion King!

Solutions

1. Instead of directly telling a kid "No" you cannot have this or do that explain to them what they COULD do to attain it. And also do not lie to the kid by coming up with excuses to justify the no for example, "You cannot go inside that cave, there's a monster in there." 

Asians for some reason like to instill fear or use fear as a tactic to prevent children from doing things and manipulating children to do things they wish. What does this do to the kid? It instills fear of the world, and anxiety at an early age that the world is not safe. 

2. Donate time or money to underprivileged kids to allow them to do extracurricular activities. This will allow them not only to learn and be confident in themselves but also stay away from trouble like drugs and alcohol. 

Conclusion

So say yes. Think twice before you yourself rob someone of opportunities. We were meant to learn and grow as a human species, to help one another achieve happiness and success. 

Autonomy comes with allowing a child early on to make ones own decision based on his or her interest. Autonomy comes with power and personal responsibilities. Let the kid make his or own decisions and let him or her follow through. We do not want to raise sheeps but independent thinkers who will advance and contribute to this world.

"All knowledge is self-knowledge." - Bruce Lee

Instill confidence and personality by saying yes to opportunities in life. Go out and figure it out because that's were creativity and the most learning is meant to take place - when we face the very thing in front of us.

They Hooked Me Up

Second time visiting a local temple outside of the city I live for work. I was lonely and didn't know anyone but two people in this city. I didn't want to bother them and felt I had nothing to offer. 

My mother use to take me to temples even as an adult and so I thought I'd go to sight-see pretty much. 

Anyway the people at this temple were super friendly, fun, and nice. I feel really accepted the first time I was her that I stayed to volunteered and helped them all day. It was a great and positive environment. I needed air and to get outside of my room. Met a young dude last week and a lot of older adults. Something I lack was initiative in taking action and knowing how to use tools but I stayed to observe and improve in this area plus I don't like to leave people hanging and just wanted things to be done before I leave. 

They kept joking about some 24 year old girl they were going to introduce to me. I got to see a picture of her and I admit she was kind of cute. 

Today, the second week she actually came and of course the adults joke again and make things silly and awkward but cute. 

She is cute and easy to talk to. Not the typical boring, nice, polite girl I get the impression of for most Viet girls.

We finally were outside to get some privacy and we talked. Then moved her near the gate. Stood the whole time. All the pickup theory came rushing back into my head but I was so rusty and slow in reacting I just didn't do shit. 

Talked some more - like c'mon get some water or go out to get drinks or something but nah just moved to the building and talk some more. 

Was easy to talk to her and she picked up the convo many times. She's sweet and greets all the elders and gave them hugs. 

Me not having a lot of experience with Asian girls or Viet girls this was new and yeah of course I was unprepared for it all. 

The questions she asks me reminded me of screening for logistics: Where do you live? Do you live at home or alone? Blah blah blah. Haha omg I felt so inadequate after because I would compare myself with her experiences. And I get it I use to be like that when I was her age - wanting to leave home and be independent. I guess I failed there :(

Damn what I liked about her? She's cute / attractive. Smells good (perfume). Wakes up early morning to worksout ( rare for Viet girls to even workout). Social. Kind. She's pretty high on the scale or has a lot of potential.

I noticed several times she either insinuates she wants my social media or wants to hang out with me somewhere in Austin or that she wants more friends to hang out in Austin but I didn't know how to capitalize on these moments. Would have been good timing to trade contacts but I was rusty. 

So the nun told us to help her do some laundry. She keeps saying I should go to the store before it gets late but I didn't want to leave her or leave her to do the chores alone. I didn't say anything and stayed to help. 

Adults were being funny and on of them the most outspoken one was taking photos of us. This is too funny. I just tell her it's cool that we can make them laugh. She was really cool and wasn't nervous or anything. 

I ended up getting her number at the very end when we walked to her car followed by her shaking my hand - nice to meet you (hug? I thought). 

Reflections

So interacting with this girl was bittersweet. I enjoyed it overall and who wouldn't talking to a cute, intelligent, feminine chick who's kind of foreign to me. The bitter part is I am reminded how inadequate I am for not being a man who is living independently. She's a girl and she's going after what she wants moving away from home at an early age and I never did. She seems like a smart, outgoing, adventurous girl and reminds me of my younger self. I felt inadequate because girls like this need a good guy or a leader. If she had lived in the city she will be swooped up quickly I guarantee it. 

Interacting with her really reminded me of all the PUA skills that I had learnt like being confident, funny, leading, dressing well, networking, and all (skills which declined because I haven't been on my Game).

I'm careful not to get oneitis but damn if I can't get any dating experience or date someone like her than who am I even compatible for? Nobody wants to date a 5 or lower. Being able to date a quality girl kind of gives me accountability to do better in life (that is if we do end up in a relationship). Women challenges me in a good way. Wants me to ask myself am I a capable man to take care of not only myself but another person? If a girl can live on her own than why can't I? What do I need to do to become a better man? Gets me thinking.

On another note - it sure is amazing to be away from home and randomly meet people and get introduced to people. It's the spice of life. I can't ever be at the same place meeting the same people who don't grow. I always need to be constantly learning and growing...

[This is pretty sloppy writing but it's been awhile...]

Internal Growth by Taking Quantum Leaps = Changed IDENTITY

Growth is about feeling the fear but doing it anyways.

A Quantum Leap requires one to change one's identity to BECOME the new yet Higher Self.

This means one actually feels the fear while knowing that it takes action which is outside of one's comfort zone to grow.

When this Quantum Leap happens the Higher Self that looks back at the old self and realized what the gap of experience exists.

This only happens by taking that Quantum Leap which is an ACTION consistently until one produces the RESULTS one is seeking.

Taking ACTION is BECOMING the newer Identity or Higher Self.

To BECOME is to be Great and to be Great is to Grow.

What stops most people from Growing is the Lower Self. The Lower Self is full of doubts, self-consciousness, and negativity.

Imagine accelerating a car with your right foot while holding onto the BRAKES with your left foot. The BRAKES are just that - the Lower Self.

Fear of Failure is worried caused by the Lower Self.

Take your left foot off the brakes, stop stalling in one place and accelerate momentum by stepping on the pedal that will move you forward in life, career, business, relationships, health, and wealth.

Move the needle to reach your Destination/Goals.