Middle school - Quiet but still did all assignments. Had some PreAP classes. BSA.
High school - Private / work study / XC & Track for four years. Quiet / Volunteering at a daycare / Prepare for College (excited wanted to do 4 years at a dorm away from home)
College - Wanted to finish in time (4 years). End up doing community college locally. Was so easy thanks to High school prep. Got into PUA and self-development / gym. Apply self and did work study. Found my own job. Got a few scholarship and joined some clubs but clubs weren't active. Didn't join Anime club but wanted to at one point. Joined Yoga club. Did meditation.
Transfer to College - Decided to major in Psych. Didn't know end goal. Did not look ahead. Positive. Took classes that I think were fun and would be helpful - Creativity, improv, singing. Still didn't make friends. Commuted / drove little brother from and to school. PUA distraction. Low grades = lost scholarship. First time repeated a class. Saturday Ocean group.
Graduated - no job. Apply and got some interviews but no luck. Went to job fair with friend who on same boat. Work whatever job could find trying to pay back student debt. Hustled hard to earn money even drove for rideshare. Was down. Still went out often. Thought I didn't qualify for graduate programs because of GPA and no recommendations.
Sought Pua and DMC to heal from feeling low. Didn't like direction of working and making little money+stress. Made lots of friends through pua even got a temp position.
Got hope to go back to school for Code and Video but didn't stick to either. Was reading lots of books on business and self-help. Vietnam trip.
Apply for Police and backup plan military. Served. Went for Personal training certificate. Got it and job but manager changed and didn't get to work. Into working out at the gym. Got into CCA position and trained for it. Worked but it was back breaking and really stressful with workload and health decline. Was doing KF still. Graduated 2x. Failed 1 - sought medical help. But got back on my feet and Graduated. Did sales which was going well but manager changed. Wasn't making enough money so quit before going to train. Thought about going back for MA in counseling. Brother said not a legit college. Did research but didn't apply.
Now back from the the training and have a more open scheduled. Decided to pursue UX. End up getting a job working part time that has a random schedule. Drill once a week. Feeling the juggling between demands.
Negatives - wasting time, idle, sleepiness and laziness. No creativity or interest in much. No more KF. Still into self-dev and books but less on books.
Positives - Healthy, Opportunities in UX, Part time job, few dates
Themes
- Too Quiet = less friends, networking, less intel
- Open-minded to try new thing = did a lot but didn't stick
- Forgetful as in my roots - how hard it was for my parents to make it and so I think I take things for granted. Read so many books but not enough action.
- Too self-absorbed in my own insecurities...
- Not taking initiative - fear - lack self-confidence
How to change?
- Take action. Take positive, good, focused, right action
- Be positive.
- Do good.
- Focus on good.
- Be committed to achieving goals.
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