Before I had always believed what people believed - that the goal in life was to obtain money, status, or fame. I turned into spirituality which taught me otherwise. Then I had forgotten what it means to be truly happy. There has to be a balance in my opinion between wants and spiritual fulfillment. At my age, I cannot go by without thinking about making money to get the things I need.../ or want? I didn't ask for much. I didn't have what the regular college students have like ipad/iphone/nice cars/girls/etc. I never asked for much and I never got it and I still haven't.
As a result I did not really feel a sense of joy. I felt more like I was isolating myself because I could barely relate to everyday people. What they watch/wear/use/want did not concern me. My hobbies became limited and I became "judgmental." I became to suffer and am suffering from loneliness. I just couldn't relate much to people to keep them around or even better to start a long and interesting conversation.
Many people do not find spirituality or religion a worthy topic to discuss anyways. It's sort of eccentric and off the wall woo woo that people could careless about.
I just don't know. I'm sure seeking material/fame/wealth/status does make life more worth living because there's something to strive for. I can't just listen to old sages say "listen to the stillness" / "be nice" wooo woo and end up poor and still unhappy. I don't know why I am attracted to religious or spiritual figures but I think they've serve me a lost purpose because I don't see a worthy goal in life or a clear path by following them.
WHAT IS MY PATH? WHAT IS THE RIGHT PATH? IS LIFE ALL ABOUT TRIAL AND ERROR AND LEARNING FROM ONE'S OWN EXPERIENCES?
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