I'm really sad... I don't know what I want or how to get there. I don't have a clue where to start. I care to much about what people think. I feel enslaved to my home and parents. I feel enslaved or oblige to make money but I don't want to be a slave for work - it's very unhealthy.
I feel stagnated. Not happy. Wasting precious time in my youth living in my head. I have no idea what I want or how to get there since day 1. I don't even try. I don't even have a passion for anything, not anymore.
I feel bitterness and boredom and jealousy, I feel like nothing is worth it not even religion. Religion is so phony I don't trust in religion or anything. People always try to sell stuff so I feel that this also leave a bad taste. I feel stuck. Don't even know how to decide anything. Don't have any support system or any mentor. I don't know what the fuck I want.
Girls? Money? Sounds easier said than done right? I've already lost many great friends. My situation isn't going to get any better being the same or worst. I am so tired of my life. I wish I was younger and knew what I know now. I would major in Computer Science. I would study my ass off and get out of my fucking bubble.
I have been timid all my life it's time to kill this personality and start anew. Focus on my strengths? What so I can make a living practicing martial arts? Cool, Cool... Like who needs martial arts when you have guns? Who has time for martial arts when all you are doing is paying for classes and not making shit money.
What the fucccck..!
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