What...?

Somewhere in my college years I f*cked up. I was not persistent in want I wanted. I read too many spirituality book and was super high on them. Reading books like be good and be in the present moment or be non-attached made me not care about anything. Now reality is hitting me in the ass.

Before I did not have many friends. At college I tried to get out of my shell slowly. I eventually desire friends and probably became needy. Then now I am still alone. I fucked up not being persistent in pursuing anything that I want. I have a short interest and short attention span? I feel so lost. Before I was a totally different person than I am now.

Now I'm all into thinking stupid shit like the future/making money/hitting on girls/RSD. It's leading me no where. I feel like I have no more interest in anything. Am I depressed or is this an ego problem? I have no idea. I can sit at home and read all day which I have done before but this is not doing it for me. I've stayed at home and watch movies too. I like writing movie reviews or what I gather from the movie but still I am not satisfied with life. I have no idea what I want now.

Before I use to want to go to Korea really badly/I wanted to be an MMA fighter/fashion designer/be on my own. But now I'm attached to my family but they can care less. They are happy where they are...

BE HAPPY!!!

3 Dreams?

I dreamed, woke up and dreamed again. One dream that I slightly remember is me talking to a blonde girl. She was trying to play hard to get so I said I don't play games. Then I felt that this might have turned her off. I then generalized that women are so stupid because all they want is to be stimulated by drama.